If you’ve lived a while, you may have come into contact with the 12 Steps at some point. With the de-stigmatization of alcoholism and addiction over the previous few decades has come the rise in public exposure to recovery programs and their effectiveness. While there are many different avenues to find freedom from the destructive behaviors that addiction creates, the most widely known is the 12 Steps of “the anonymous” programs. But what exactly are the 12 steps?
To state it simply, the 12 steps are a program of action driven by principals that aim to create positive change in the hearts, minds, and lives of those who adhere to them. The goal of the 12 steps is not merely to obtain abstinence from a substance, but to undo the spiritual and emotional wreckage caused by addiction and offer people a new way to live. They change the way that we look at ourselves, the world, and God.
Step One
- We admitted that we were powerless over {our addiction}, that our lives had become unmanageable – Step One
- For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me – Romans 7:19-20 (NRSV)
Admitting defeat has got to be one of the hardest things for anyone to do. We live in a culture that tells us “to never give up,” that, “where there’s a will there’s a way” and so on. So naturally, this idea of admitting that we are defeated, dominated, and powerless over anything goes against our human nature. It is contrary to the way that we have been programmed to see ourselves in the world. What if our nature and our programming is the problem?
It took me a long time to grasp this concept. For ten years, I knew what this step said, and I knew what it meant. I could even see the evidence that pointed at my powerlessness. However, I was unable to be truly honest with myself about the reality of my life. The self-deception that I lived with for so long kept me caged, even during times when I was abstinent from drugs or alcohol. I was locked up in a cell of self-centered self-destruction that soiled even my most well-intentioned actions. The motivation behind everything that I said and did was to get what I wanted, regardless of the consequences. It was only when I was able to be honest with myself that I was able to put down the dope and admit defeat.
Step One is based on the principle of honesty. We need to be honest with ourselves about ourselves. While this seems simple, it’s tough. Usually, we are the last people to see our own iniquity. But this is not something that can be imposed on us by anyone other than ourselves. Powerlessness and unmanageability are the symptoms of our disease if we are addicts. In a broader way, they are the symptoms of our human nature as Christians. Replace the word addiction with the word sin in reading this step, and you have one of the foundational truths that the Bible is trying to convey to us. With that being said, what do powerlessness and unmanageability actually mean?
Powerless
This is the internal symptom of addiction, and very much the inner manifestation of sin. It says we can’t help ourselves… even when we know that it’s wrong. Addicts know this feeling all too well. It’s using even when you promised yourself that you wouldn’t. Even when you don’t want to. For us, perhaps this is a gift. We see powerlessness the moment we get honest with ourselves. But for the rest of us, what does it look like? Have you ever tried to honestly go a day, a week without doing or thinking anything wrong? It’s nearly impossible, even if we work really hard – even if we know, “this is wrong.” In the Scripture above, Paul is lamenting over the reality of his nature. Even the evil we do not want is what we do. Now I know evil is a strong word, but the sentiment is still the same.
So then how do we become powerful? The short answer is that we don’t. We seek the help of someone who has power. I’m sure you can see where this is going, but you’ll have to tune back in next week for the full run down. For the purposes of this step, merely an honest recognition that we don’t have the power will suffice. We’ve got to get used to acknowledging it because we are powerless over much more than drugs or alcohol or sin. The reality is that we are powerless over anything other than our own actions and reactions. We can’t control other people or the world around us. We can’t really control Washington, our neighbors, or anything else that happens in the world. We can attempt to influence it, but in the end, we only have control over ourselves. Trying to manipulate and control the world and others around us only causes pain, misery, and unmanageability – the outward symptom of our condition.
Unmanageable
Unmanageability is perhaps the most visible part of our malady. It presents itself in a lot of different ways. Addiction has a way of creating financial burdens and health conditions that are directly related to using drugs or drinking. It’s enough to make a rational person say, “Hey, I’ve had enough of this.” Unfortunately, the insidious nature of addiction causes us to ignore our own experience by rationalizing, justifying, and denying the adverse effects that our choices have made. Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity was “Doing the same thing and expecting different results.” So it is not far off to say that continuing to use and drink, despite the consequences, is a form of insanity. Thankfully things don’t have to stay this way forever.
What about unmanageability on a more universal level? Sometimes the link between our actions and their consequences is quite apparent. Going to jail for stealing is a pretty clear cut case that thievery is our problem. But what about when the problem is them? Issues in our personal lives are often exacerbated by our reactions to circumstances that are beyond our control. When people don’t act the way that we think they should, we react in a way that is hurtful. We attempt to manipulate people into acting or thinking in the way that we want them to out of a need to control the circumstances of our lives. All of this behavior ends up causing rifts in our relationships. If this cycle continues to repeat itself – because we know for sure that we are right – we are destined for the muck and the mire of strained or non-existent interpersonal relationships. As people who are created to be in relationships with one another, this tears at the fabric of our heart. It leaves us lacking.
The Action
You might be reading this and wonder to yourself, “what am I supposed to do then?” I haven’t really offered you a solution. Good. There isn’t a solution, yet. I’ve only helped you to identify the problem and… behold! The problem is you. Not drugs, not alcohol, not the sins themselves, but our inability to look at the consequences of our actions honestly and then make a real and meaningful change just because it makes sense. We are all powerless over something. We all think and do things that create unnecessary chaos in not only our own lives but in the lives of those around us.
Coming to terms with this truth, getting honest with ourselves that we are missing the mark in some area of our lives, opens us up to asking for help. The realization that we don’t have all the answers is the groundwork that the rest of the 12 steps and the Christian faith are built upon. It is in the rest of the journey that the solution will be presented. The only action required here is surrender. Waving the white flag that we have been told by our American Heritage to never run up the pole. The power in being powerless comes from our willingness to be guided by something and someone who does have power over that which ails us. That’s for us to discuss more of next week.
For now, just be praying about what creates the most chaos in your life. Could it be something that you are powerless over? What would it take for you to release it?
Grace and Recovery 